I first thought about joining Tenth Cambodia mission team nearly 5 years ago. God had planted a seed in my heart. As the years pressed on I knew I had slowly distanced myself away from him and hearing his voice. I would say about year ago, I hear God – loud and clear – that it was time… time for a change. At first I thought God would use me to touch someone and make a difference in someone’s life in Cambodia. So much as I enjoyed seeing Cambodia and saw God work through me to help the people through our medical ministry, I realized God didn’t send me to Cambodia for the Cambodian people, but rather He sent me to heal me and strengthen his bond to me.
In Cambodia, I was reintroduced to the power of prayer. I witnessed people of faith… for years, my faith was like a dwindling flame. By being around members of our medical team, especially Linda, Patrick and meeting Chom No, I realized that I was prayer deprived. It was in my moments of reflection that I knew I was a “diluted” Christian, meaning that I have been so “washed down” by working with and being around non-Christians. I was filled with negativity… I forgot what it felt like to turn to God for everything. I carried worries and tried to find solutions, when all I needed to do was call on God.
I had been journaling every day in Cambodia and I decided at the end of the trip, I would continue my journaling because I really enjoyed being connected to God. Prior to this trip I committed myself to Practicing the Presence, but I found it difficult… but since coming back I have been spending 15 – 30 minutes every morning reading scripture and blogging about my thoughts and prayers. I have never felt closer to God and as a result I am better able to hear and see that He has been giving me glimpses of his bigger picture and I am witnessing him answering my prayers... prayers to things I have been praying on and off about for many years.
My greatest fear in coming back from Cambodia was that I would forget the things and lessons God showed me there. I was scared that I would revert back to being a diluted Christian, suckered into our selfish, consumer society. But in our meetings with David Collins, he reminded that changes don’t need to be drastic, changes can be simple. Changes are internal and meant for God’s eyes. Eventually, others will notice the change because we will naturally through God become more gracious, forgiving and merciful… just like our Father in Heaven.
So I can say with confidence that I will continue in my morning devotions and my walk with Christ so that Cambodia won’t be a memory but a trip that has changed my Christian practice.
How has God answered my prayers... through my loving husband. It is so apparent that this year is a year of change, just as God foretold me. This is the first time and likely the only time we will ever not vacation together. But it was through these 2 separate vacations that God spoke to each of us, so that we could each hear His voice in the ways we needed. So Father I thank you for not only ensuring our safety in these trips, but also our growth in faith through you. I trust you. Thank you, Lord.
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