Acts 26:1-32
Paul presents his side of the story to King Agrippa. Paul tells him how he once persecuted Christians, but is now a firm follower. The council and the King agree that Paul has committed no crime worthy of death or imprisonment.
1 Peter 3:10-16
Suffering for Doing Good
The eyes of the Lord, watch over those who do right and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.
Remember it is better to suffer doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer doing wrong.
In this life, suffering is inevitable, like death and taxes.
Tomorrow I start my ovulation testing and I go in for my breast ultrasound. I know you are watching over me Father.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Pay back evil with a blessing...
Acts 25: 13-27
Paul Before Festus
Festus, troubled by Paul's trial, speaks to the King Agrippa. The king agrees to oversee this trial. The Jews want Paul killed but the Roman officials see no reason for his death.
I am reminded how senseless our world can be, especially in the hands of those who don't think beyond themselves...
1 Peter 3:7-9
Husbands and All Christians
Husbands are to treat their wives with understanding. She is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.
We should be full of sympathy and humbleness. Don't repay evil with evil. Pay them back with a blessing...
Now that is food for thought... treat my enemy like a friend...
Last day for Clomiphene Citrate. I actually read up on the details of this treatment. The prognosis will not be a good one for us... I have self-dignosed myself with Low Ovarian Reserve, aka Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). Although I don't seem to exhib the classic tell tale signs of this, ie. irregular periods and high FSH levels, my ovaries had a poor response when stimulated with Gonal F.
In my readings, it said that it is not impossible to get pregnant, it's just that it would be more difficult. But because there is another fertility issue, low sperm count and motility, the odds really are not in our favour. It would require divine intervention... God.
Over the past few weeks, I have been questioning myself, wondering if I really want to have children. A few months ago, I would have assertively said, "Yes, without a doubt". But now, I do have my doubts. I am beginning to question if God has a different plan for me.
So Father, I ask that you yell and scream into my mind where is it I should go... where is it that you need me to be. Although I love my job, working with kids, I haven't found any "die-hard" friends at work... this makes me sad... there's no source of motivation...
Paul Before Festus
Festus, troubled by Paul's trial, speaks to the King Agrippa. The king agrees to oversee this trial. The Jews want Paul killed but the Roman officials see no reason for his death.
I am reminded how senseless our world can be, especially in the hands of those who don't think beyond themselves...
1 Peter 3:7-9
Husbands and All Christians
Husbands are to treat their wives with understanding. She is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.
We should be full of sympathy and humbleness. Don't repay evil with evil. Pay them back with a blessing...
Now that is food for thought... treat my enemy like a friend...
Last day for Clomiphene Citrate. I actually read up on the details of this treatment. The prognosis will not be a good one for us... I have self-dignosed myself with Low Ovarian Reserve, aka Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). Although I don't seem to exhib the classic tell tale signs of this, ie. irregular periods and high FSH levels, my ovaries had a poor response when stimulated with Gonal F.
In my readings, it said that it is not impossible to get pregnant, it's just that it would be more difficult. But because there is another fertility issue, low sperm count and motility, the odds really are not in our favour. It would require divine intervention... God.
Over the past few weeks, I have been questioning myself, wondering if I really want to have children. A few months ago, I would have assertively said, "Yes, without a doubt". But now, I do have my doubts. I am beginning to question if God has a different plan for me.
So Father, I ask that you yell and scream into my mind where is it I should go... where is it that you need me to be. Although I love my job, working with kids, I haven't found any "die-hard" friends at work... this makes me sad... there's no source of motivation...
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Beauty and Godliness from within...
Acts 25: 1- 12
Paul Appears before Festus
It is evident how brave and righteous Paul is. His strength comes from knowing God is there to back him up... How confident can I act... in my head I have an image of the "trust" fall. Do I trust God to catch me... now I do... all is well... with my soul...
1 Peter 3:1-6
Wives
I should be known for my beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle, quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. I am reminded that even if my husband has strayed away from God's path, my godly life will speak to him better than any words.
Thank you for these reminders and words of comfort and encouragement.
Paul Appears before Festus
It is evident how brave and righteous Paul is. His strength comes from knowing God is there to back him up... How confident can I act... in my head I have an image of the "trust" fall. Do I trust God to catch me... now I do... all is well... with my soul...
1 Peter 3:1-6
Wives
I should be known for my beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle, quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. I am reminded that even if my husband has strayed away from God's path, my godly life will speak to him better than any words.
Thank you for these reminders and words of comfort and encouragement.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Believing, Following and Representing... God
It's my Day 3. I officially started my Chlomophene today.
Acts 22:30 - 23:35
Paul - The Planning of his Killing to his exile to Caesarea
Paul had his face slapped by the high priest because he said he had lived before God in good conscience. Many did not realize he was a Pharisee and he had divided the council telling them he believed in the resurrection of Christ. Pharisees believe this, but the Sadducees do not. The following day, a group of Jews made a pact to not eat or drink until they had Paul killed. They wanted to kill Paul as he was being transported between the prison and the high council. Paul's nephew heard this and warned Paul who asked his nephew to report it to the commander. The commander then sent Paul to Govenor Felix to have him tried there.
This is actually quite amazing. The plot definitely thickens.
1 Peter 1:14 - 2:16
A Call to Holy Living
"Obey God because you are his children. Don't slip back into your old ways of doing evil...He will judge or reward you according to what you do... I warn you to keep away from evil desires because they fight against your very souls."
Realising you're wrong is one thing, but continuing to do it with it conscious in your mind is absolutely WRONG. It's one thing to be ignorant and other to be evil. Yes we are sinners. But as God's children we need to represent, not disappoint. God doesn't disappoint us. We do... God does judge. What is fair in our eyes doesn't matter. God sees the bigger picture. We are merely a pixel in the grand scheme of things... but a single missing pixel would destroy the perfection of the piece. So no matter little we feel we are, we are surprisingly important. We make choices. That's God gift to us... freedom to believe and freedom to follow. I choose to believe, follow and do my best to represent...
Acts 22:30 - 23:35
Paul - The Planning of his Killing to his exile to Caesarea
Paul had his face slapped by the high priest because he said he had lived before God in good conscience. Many did not realize he was a Pharisee and he had divided the council telling them he believed in the resurrection of Christ. Pharisees believe this, but the Sadducees do not. The following day, a group of Jews made a pact to not eat or drink until they had Paul killed. They wanted to kill Paul as he was being transported between the prison and the high council. Paul's nephew heard this and warned Paul who asked his nephew to report it to the commander. The commander then sent Paul to Govenor Felix to have him tried there.
This is actually quite amazing. The plot definitely thickens.
1 Peter 1:14 - 2:16
A Call to Holy Living
"Obey God because you are his children. Don't slip back into your old ways of doing evil...He will judge or reward you according to what you do... I warn you to keep away from evil desires because they fight against your very souls."
Realising you're wrong is one thing, but continuing to do it with it conscious in your mind is absolutely WRONG. It's one thing to be ignorant and other to be evil. Yes we are sinners. But as God's children we need to represent, not disappoint. God doesn't disappoint us. We do... God does judge. What is fair in our eyes doesn't matter. God sees the bigger picture. We are merely a pixel in the grand scheme of things... but a single missing pixel would destroy the perfection of the piece. So no matter little we feel we are, we are surprisingly important. We make choices. That's God gift to us... freedom to believe and freedom to follow. I choose to believe, follow and do my best to represent...
Monday, November 21, 2011
Birthrite... a gift or a curse?
It's been a while...
It's Day 1 of my IUI with Chlomiphine cycle. I really am not very excited. I am filled with some aprehension and negative energy. Not a good thing really... I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with work. I think I need to back off for a while... question becomes how...
God are you telling me to rest my mind so that I can find rest in you?
Acts 22:17-29
Paul Speaks to the Crowd & Reveals His Roman Citizenship
Upon reading this, I am reminded that our birthrite is a symbol of status. Paul preached and as Christ had predicted, the crowd turned on him and wanted him dead. The soldiers bound him and were about to whip him, when Paul announced that he was a Roman citizen. It was then that the soldiers withdrew. This makes me think about the signifigance of wealth. In Chinese the expression of being born sucking on a golden key... I also am reminded of those who were born only to suffer. Then I think of myself and realise how much you have blessed me, giving me a life beyond what I truly deserve...
1Peter 1:8-13
The Hope of Eternal Life
This passage is a reminder that Christ suffered on the cross so that we may live forever. This is something we do not deserve... especially when we look at how we treat each other...
It's Day 1 of my IUI with Chlomiphine cycle. I really am not very excited. I am filled with some aprehension and negative energy. Not a good thing really... I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with work. I think I need to back off for a while... question becomes how...
God are you telling me to rest my mind so that I can find rest in you?
Acts 22:17-29
Paul Speaks to the Crowd & Reveals His Roman Citizenship
Upon reading this, I am reminded that our birthrite is a symbol of status. Paul preached and as Christ had predicted, the crowd turned on him and wanted him dead. The soldiers bound him and were about to whip him, when Paul announced that he was a Roman citizen. It was then that the soldiers withdrew. This makes me think about the signifigance of wealth. In Chinese the expression of being born sucking on a golden key... I also am reminded of those who were born only to suffer. Then I think of myself and realise how much you have blessed me, giving me a life beyond what I truly deserve...
1Peter 1:8-13
The Hope of Eternal Life
This passage is a reminder that Christ suffered on the cross so that we may live forever. This is something we do not deserve... especially when we look at how we treat each other...
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The Waiting Game
Yikes! Definitely went on a break these past few days... very sick and had lots to do... still have lots to do. I started a new cross-stitch! =)
Acts 17: 16-34
Paul Preaches in Athens
Paul spoke out against the idol worship in Athens. He preached to any and all who would listen. He was even asked to debate his "religion" with scholars. This makes me think that I need to do the same... speak out against idols... or at the very least live by this...
James 2:10-13
A Warning Against Prejudice
Whatever we say or do, we will be judged. If we are not merciful towards others, how can expect God to be merciful towards us?
I thank you for your continued words of support and guidance. We are embarking on our last kick at the can with reproductive medicine. I have no expectations from this next set of procedures. I leave it all in your hands, Lord. For without your blessing, there is nothing. When speaking with the doctor, the chances of a pregnancy per IUI is less than 5% per month. With IVF, we were looking at 15%. Father, you are one of miracles, but I have come to the crossroads and I am OK with not ever having to be pregnant. Our sermon last week was great. I was reminded that I am your prized possession and that I am lovable. You are not punishing me. Circumstances happen, tragedies happen... they are not necessarily God's will, but things we or others close to us bring about out of fear or because of a costly choice. We don't always see the bigger picture or our purpose... you do.
Satan will tempt us with the one thing we can't have. Father, you have blessed us with everything, but a baby. This is what Satan can use to tempt us. I am thankful, that I have not become bitter and have turned away from you. I am thankful that my husband is slowly turning back to you. For it is only in you, that we will find eternal and righteous comfort.
I trust you, Lord. I will not be angry if I am not pregnant over the next 3 months. In fact, I will be elated that this stuggle will be over and I will be able to move to another chapter of my life. I have no question that you have equipped my husband and me with all the tools to be a great parents and teachers. It is now a matter of time.
Acts 17: 16-34
Paul Preaches in Athens
Paul spoke out against the idol worship in Athens. He preached to any and all who would listen. He was even asked to debate his "religion" with scholars. This makes me think that I need to do the same... speak out against idols... or at the very least live by this...
James 2:10-13
A Warning Against Prejudice
Whatever we say or do, we will be judged. If we are not merciful towards others, how can expect God to be merciful towards us?
I thank you for your continued words of support and guidance. We are embarking on our last kick at the can with reproductive medicine. I have no expectations from this next set of procedures. I leave it all in your hands, Lord. For without your blessing, there is nothing. When speaking with the doctor, the chances of a pregnancy per IUI is less than 5% per month. With IVF, we were looking at 15%. Father, you are one of miracles, but I have come to the crossroads and I am OK with not ever having to be pregnant. Our sermon last week was great. I was reminded that I am your prized possession and that I am lovable. You are not punishing me. Circumstances happen, tragedies happen... they are not necessarily God's will, but things we or others close to us bring about out of fear or because of a costly choice. We don't always see the bigger picture or our purpose... you do.
Satan will tempt us with the one thing we can't have. Father, you have blessed us with everything, but a baby. This is what Satan can use to tempt us. I am thankful, that I have not become bitter and have turned away from you. I am thankful that my husband is slowly turning back to you. For it is only in you, that we will find eternal and righteous comfort.
I trust you, Lord. I will not be angry if I am not pregnant over the next 3 months. In fact, I will be elated that this stuggle will be over and I will be able to move to another chapter of my life. I have no question that you have equipped my husband and me with all the tools to be a great parents and teachers. It is now a matter of time.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Draw me into the light... from trouble to joy
Acts 15:22-41
The Letter for Gentile Believers & Paul and Barnabas Separate
This passage reiterates what was read yesterday regarding the need to abstain from eating food sacrificed to idols. Paul and Barnabas separate because of John Mark. Paul did not feel John Mark was faithful since he abandoned the both of them when they were to share the Gospel under extreme persecution and ridicule. Who is right? Barnabas takes John Mark with him towards Cyprus, while Paul takes Silas to Syria and Cilicia.
James 1:1-4
Faith and Endurance
In just reading the title, I know Father you are addressing a deep concern of mine... my own faith and endurance.
"... Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow... " (2,3)
Turning trouble into joy is no easy feat. I definitely pray for your grace and wisdom in this department. I understand and see that our faith is always tested and it is in our patience that we learn about ourselves and our committment and devotion to you.
So help me Father, to see the positive side of everything and to draw light rather than darkness into my life.
The Letter for Gentile Believers & Paul and Barnabas Separate
This passage reiterates what was read yesterday regarding the need to abstain from eating food sacrificed to idols. Paul and Barnabas separate because of John Mark. Paul did not feel John Mark was faithful since he abandoned the both of them when they were to share the Gospel under extreme persecution and ridicule. Who is right? Barnabas takes John Mark with him towards Cyprus, while Paul takes Silas to Syria and Cilicia.
James 1:1-4
Faith and Endurance
In just reading the title, I know Father you are addressing a deep concern of mine... my own faith and endurance.
"... Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow... " (2,3)
Turning trouble into joy is no easy feat. I definitely pray for your grace and wisdom in this department. I understand and see that our faith is always tested and it is in our patience that we learn about ourselves and our committment and devotion to you.
So help me Father, to see the positive side of everything and to draw light rather than darkness into my life.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Finding Joy
Acts 15:1-21
The Council at Jerusalem
This passage is a reminder that God sent Christ to save all of us. Cirumcision is not required to be saved. We should stop eating meat sacrificed to idols... this makes me think of my in-laws as they are faithful to their religion and they do sacrifice their food to their "elders/ancestors"...
Hebrews 13:17 -25
Jesus never ceased being God...but he did abandon his power of being God to experience human conditions. Jesus willingly bore our sins. We should be able to put the needs of others before ourselves. We must make time for others - JOY (Jesus, Others, Yourself). By using JOY as our acroynm of priority, we will find joy...
The Council at Jerusalem
This passage is a reminder that God sent Christ to save all of us. Cirumcision is not required to be saved. We should stop eating meat sacrificed to idols... this makes me think of my in-laws as they are faithful to their religion and they do sacrifice their food to their "elders/ancestors"...
Hebrews 13:17 -25
Jesus never ceased being God...but he did abandon his power of being God to experience human conditions. Jesus willingly bore our sins. We should be able to put the needs of others before ourselves. We must make time for others - JOY (Jesus, Others, Yourself). By using JOY as our acroynm of priority, we will find joy...
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
God Never Fails
Acts 14:8-20a
Paul and Barnabas in Lystra and Derbe
Both men shared the Gospel and healed a crippled man. The people thought of them as Gods, Hermes and Zeus. They wanted to burn sacrifices to the Gods. Paul and Barnabas would not have any of that. As they were trying to explain how they were human, Jews from the other cities these apostles visited began to start stoning Paul. The crowd became a mob and Paul was dragged out of the city appearing dead. As believers stood around Paul's body, Paul got up and left this city with Barnabas.
Praise God!
Hebrews 13:1-9
Concluding Words
"I will never fail you. I will never forsake you." (5)
"The Lord is my helper, so I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? (6)
Father thank you for reminding me of these words... that you will never fail me and you will never forsake me... thus, I will stand tall and not be afraid...
Paul and Barnabas in Lystra and Derbe
Both men shared the Gospel and healed a crippled man. The people thought of them as Gods, Hermes and Zeus. They wanted to burn sacrifices to the Gods. Paul and Barnabas would not have any of that. As they were trying to explain how they were human, Jews from the other cities these apostles visited began to start stoning Paul. The crowd became a mob and Paul was dragged out of the city appearing dead. As believers stood around Paul's body, Paul got up and left this city with Barnabas.
Praise God!
Hebrews 13:1-9
Concluding Words
"I will never fail you. I will never forsake you." (5)
"The Lord is my helper, so I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? (6)
Father thank you for reminding me of these words... that you will never fail me and you will never forsake me... thus, I will stand tall and not be afraid...
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