Sunday, November 27, 2011

Pay back evil with a blessing...

Acts 25: 13-27
Paul Before Festus
Festus, troubled by Paul's trial, speaks to the King Agrippa.  The king agrees to oversee this trial. The Jews want Paul killed but the Roman officials see no reason for his death.
I am reminded how senseless our world can be, especially in the hands of those who don't think beyond themselves...

1 Peter 3:7-9
Husbands and All Christians
Husbands are to treat their wives with understanding.  She is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you  don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.
We should be full of sympathy and humbleness. Don't repay evil with evil. Pay them back with a blessing...

Now that is food for thought... treat my enemy like a friend...
Last day for Clomiphene Citrate.  I actually read up on the details of this treatment.  The prognosis will not be a good one for us... I have self-dignosed myself with Low Ovarian Reserve, aka Premature Ovarian Failure (POF).  Although I don't seem to exhib the classic tell tale signs of this, ie. irregular periods and high FSH levels, my ovaries had a poor response when stimulated with Gonal F.

In my readings, it said that it is not impossible to get pregnant, it's just that it would be more difficult.  But because there is another fertility issue, low sperm count and motility, the odds really are not in our favour.  It would require divine intervention... God.

Over the past few weeks, I have been questioning myself, wondering if I really want to have children.  A few months ago, I would have assertively said, "Yes, without a doubt".  But now, I do have my doubts.  I am beginning to question if God has a different plan for me.

So Father, I ask that you yell and scream into my mind where is it I should go... where is it that you need me to be.  Although I love my job, working with kids, I haven't found any "die-hard" friends at work... this makes me sad... there's no source of motivation...

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